Yesterday I sent an email to several local politicians regarding the proposed commuter rail that would extend the Chicago Metra Line to travel through Kenosha, Racine, and Caledonia to Downtown Milwaukee.

 

While the transit authority approved a hike in rental car fees to pay for this rail (known as KRM), it went up for a vote today with the Joint Finance Committee. According to The Racine Journal Times, it was voted down with an 8-8 vote (not sure how that works…I guess if it is tie the answer is no??) Representative Robin Vos voted against the fee while Senator Lehman voted in its favor.

 

I feel that this rail would benefit our community in so many ways. More union jobs – which this city desperately needs. Citizens of Racine will be able to travel more easily to other cities which would broaden their job opportunities (and pay!!). Not to mention the simple fact of having more transportation options like many other cities do. Imagine how much better going to Summerfest would be if you didn’t have to drive and park? Republicans are just spreading fear that this will cost too much – that the there will be added taxes we will have to pay for. How much are we paying now for things we do not want, agree with or even know about?? How much is the Iraq War costing??

 

It is said that the rental car fee hike will account for the costs of this rail. Big deal. And in fact there are many ways in which this could be paid for.

 

Anyway, here is the email I sent….not that it did any good. I am quite disappointed in the vote today. But it is not dead yet. It can still be written into the state budget and it sounds as though Gov. Doyle supports the rail.

 

 

 

Dear XXX,

 

I was recently offered a part time position for a good company in a field I enjoy. I am currently a stay at home mom and looking to re-enter the workforce on a part time basis as long as it will bring in profit after considering the cost of daycare, fuel, clothing, etc. There are NO jobs in Racine that fit this standard. None. This position in downtown Milwaukee would, except for the costly and time consuming commute. I cannot afford to be on the road during very stressful rush hours for hours a day. It makes no sense. However, if I had the option of a train commute - that would change things completely. Jobs just are not here. Wouldn't this city prefer their citizens to be working and bringing money back into the city?? Who gives a hoot about a rental car fee?? I go to other cities and am taxed out the ying yang for hotels, cabs, rental cars - that is just a part of travel. When traveling, you expect those fees and taxes. If not, don’t travel.

 

There are also other taxes that could be made to help pay for this such as a fast food tax. We all know that fast food is not a necessity. Not only is it not a necessity, but it is virtually a toxic wolf in sheep’s clothing preying on the weak taste buds of our cities. The statistics prove that people are more obese and unhealthy than ever. I think there are many reasons for this and fast food is certainly one of them. Now eating a Big Mac once every couple months isn't going to make a difference to your health. Eating one everyday, that will. Cigarettes are taxed. Alcohol is taxed. Why not fast food? Like the lottery, this could bring much needed money to our cities. And that benefit could be in the form of this much needed rail.

 

When I visit cities like Chicago or Boston, I envy the fact that they have so many transportation options. Why do we have to be any different?

This rail will do nothing but benefit our community in many ways. Please consider this through the eyes of all of your constituents. Not only the ones who are retired, drive BMWs and could care less about the working class in this city – as some of the members of our legislation do.

 

 

 

Respectfully,

 

Heather Rayne

I have been talking to my friend Tom about what it means to be an ‘HSP’ or Highly Sensitive Person and so this is one thing that is on my mind at the moment.

 

I have recently, within the past couple years, come across this terminology and discovered that this is very much a part of me. And I think it even goes further as far as medical issues are concerned. There are several websites out there about it as well as books and support groups. There is even specialized therapy that directly relates to HSPs. Elaine Aron is the mother of this term and has written many books on the subject as well as how to deal with being an HSP or knowing one.

 

Here is some interesting information from this website - http://www.highlysensitivesouls.com/articles/sensitivesouls.htm

 

 

Are You Highly Sensitive?

By Jenna Avery, CLC,
Life Coach for Sensitive Souls

 

Do you often feel overwhelmed by your environment or the people around you? Has anyone ever called you shy – or worse: “too sensitive”? Do you care deeply about EVERYTHING? You may be a highly sensitive soul – a person of deep empathy and high intensity, with powerful intuition, awareness, and intelligence.

Being highly sensitive, you have a uniquely perceptive sensory system. You are therefore more sensitive to emotions, energy, environmental conditions such as lighting or sound, other people, excitement, and stress. As a result of constant stimuli, you may feel easily overwhelmed or unable to cope. Things can be particularly confusing when others seem unperturbed by the same experiences. For example, your friends might be able to shop all day, go out to dinner, and then head to a loud party. For you, that would be unbearable.

Research psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, has studied high sensitivity extensively. Her research shows that being sensitive is a personality temperament or trait, one usually inherited. According to Dr. Aron, up to 20% of the population is highly sensitive.

How To Tell If You Are Highly Sensitive
Being highly sensitive comes with a number of gifts, as well as challenges. See if any of these highly sensitive qualities resonate strongly with you.

 

1. You are deeply affected by all aspects of your life.
As a sensitive soul, you have great emotional passion, intensity, and depth. You may have been told that your emotions are “too much.” You are sensitive, caring, and easily affected by the energy and emotions of others. These qualities make it easy to lose touch with your needs and desires.

 

2. You have heightened perceptive skills.
A sensitive soul is intuitive, highly aware, and keenly observant of the subtleties of your environment, including energy, light, noise, smell, texture, and temperature. You may also be empathic or even psychic. Your perceptive skills operate in the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual realms. You tie together things you see into complex and original concepts. This makes you a visionary.

 

3. You have a lower tolerance for stimulation than others.
Because you receive so much information from your surroundings, your threshold for what’s “too much” is significantly lower than for those around you. This means: a) You may be seen as shy or timid; and b) You may feel uncomfortably dissimilar to others because you respond so differently to stimulation.

 

4. You are highly conscientious and thorough in all your undertakings.
A sensitive soul makes a great employee. You concentrate intensely and process multi-source information deeply. However, you require privacy, uninterrupted time, and little or no pressure in order to do your best work.

 

5. You have a strong relationship with aesthetics and art.
As a highly sensitive soul, you have a passion for beauty, art, and aesthetics. You may be highly artistic and creative yourself. You easily create beauty and comfort. Seeing things “out of alignment” can actually be physically or psychically distressing.

 

6. Your inner life is just as intriguing and inspiring as your outer life.
You likely have a rich, complex inner life and are highly imaginative. You may find it challenging to connect to “real world” priorities and realities.

 

7. You absolutely require private time alone in order to feel replenished.
Up to 70% of highly sensitive souls are introverted. But even extroverted sensitives need downtime to rejuvenate, often in a darkened, quiet room.

 

8. You have a strong spiritual connection and depth.
If you are highly sensitive, you experience a profound spiritual connection with the divine and/or spiritual realm. You “see” a lot in what appears common. Because of this you may feel impatient with the truly mundane.

Learning To Thrive: What You Need
Learning to thrive as a highly sensitive soul presents challenges. If you’re sensitive, you have likely accumulated years of training in trying overcome the trait because you don’t “fit in” with society. And yet being highly sensitive is a vital part of you.

 

A first step toward thriving as a sensitive soul is to understand and accept your trait. Hear this now: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are just different. As one of my clients says, being highly sensitive is both a gift and a responsibility.

 

Sensitive souls require regular self-care, meaningful work, and supportive relationships. Working with a sensitive coach or therapist who helps you tune into your own magnificent inner guidance system – your sensitivity – is a powerful means of support.

 

As you begin to manage your life in a way that truly works for you, you will trust the power and gift of your sensitivity, and be inspired to share your much-needed wisdom with the world.

 

 

It is amazing to me how much I can relate to that. Pretty much every single part – minus being shy. And even though I have yet to see a written correlation between being an HSP and certain medical conditions, I sincerely feel that connection is there. I feel that being so aware and in tuned creates problems that our bodies would otherwise not react to. Such as allergies, asthma, migraines, sinus issues, anxiety, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, arrhythmias, depression, irritable bowel syndrome and I am sure several others.

 

Anyway, I will be reading more and more about this and learning how to make these sensitivities more of a positive than a negative. And I will let you know how it is going along the way.

On Sunday we (my husband, mom, step father and daughter) went to Burlington’s Chocolatefest. I had never been there before and it was a pretty nice time. Typical carnival-type atmosphere. We played some games (I won a small froggie for Cass). Cassidy went on a few rides. We ate some yummies. Bought some chocolate. And I attempted to be hypnotized.  Yes, you heard right. There was a hypnotist there by the name of Chris Carter. I guess he is there every year and my parents always talked about what a funny show it was and how he got the participants to do all this hilarious stuff. So when he asked for audience volunteers, I raised my hand and was chosen. I was VERY nervous for some reason. I don’t get anxious being on stage on in front of a crowd and I wasn’t even afraid of making a fool of myself…I think it was just the unknown of being hypnotized and not knowing how I would react.

 

I really tried to follow his instructions completely. I waited and waited and as I watched as other people appeared to be going ‘under’…I knew that for me, nothing was happening. I did feel sort of meditative and relaxed. But not at all hypnotized. Neither was the guy next to me. We were both older than the rest of the participants. But the guy on the other side of me was the star of the show. Chris Carter told him that whenever he said a certain word he was to sneak around the stage and steal everyone’s shoes and hide them in his shirt. Sure enough – he did it. He also preformed as Elvis. Thing was, before the show, he turned to me and asked, “What if it doesn’t work – are we suppose to fake it?” I just said I had no idea. Though I knew I wouldn’t fake it…which I didn’t.

 

After the show I talked to the Elvis kid and he said he faked the whole thing.

 

Poo poo. I was sorta disappointed. I thought it would be a fun experience to be hypnotized. Oh well. At least I had lots of chocolate J

 

Cassidy had a blast and that was so fun to see. She loved the rides and had no fear going on them alone. She did not like the mini roller coaster (for toddlers) though. It jerked her around too much. I wouldn’t have liked it either. She didn’t cry or anything. She just announced loudly in the middle of the ride “I’m done NOW!!”

 

Other than that – not much else going on. I have to get some CD reviews written for Valley Scene Magazine. I need to do some laundry. And we are trying to choose what home improvement task to take on. Either tear out our cement patio in the back and build a wood deck or get carpet for the basement so it can finally be finished. We are also putting a fence around the back yard so the kids can play without Cassidy constantly escaping to the front yard. Ugh. I hate spending money. But things gotta get done, right??

 

There are a few other things I would like to talk about…but I think I will do those in separate blogs.

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day J

Almost four years later and I finally added pictures to my wedding and honeymoon album here on my site. Feel free to check them out :)

 

Man...so many changes in such a short time. All the babies are now big kids. Some of the people in the pictures have sadly passed on. I am like 1000 lbs bigger. And I have a darling new child. Time really does fly. Scary, isn't it??

 

Here is the direct link to the album:

 

http://cheersrayne.spaces.live.com/?_c11_PhotoAlbum_spaHandler=TWljcm9zb2Z0LlNwYWNlcy5XZWIuUGFydHMuUGhvdG9BbGJ1bS5GdWxsTW9kZUNvbnRyb2xsZXI%24&_c11_PhotoAlbum_spaFolderID=cns!656F9A4108C3E513!440&_c11_PhotoAlbum_startingImageIndex=0&_c11_PhotoAlbum_commentsExpand=0&_c11_PhotoAlbum_addCommentExpand=0&_c11_PhotoAlbum_addCommentFocus=0&_c=PhotoAlbum

 

Last night we had a meeting with the counselor. By we, I mean my husband, his ex wife and myself. I was very anxious about it - this was our second appointment. The first one went okay, but was emotional. Anyway, last night went well I would say. I agreed with everything the counselor had to say. He said that we all deserve much credit for even coming to these appointments an attempting to do the right things. He also said that we all need to learn how to trust - and deserve trust with one another. Without that trust we cannot truly believe that the other parent has my step daughter's best interest at heart. I know that is something I need to work on (we all do - but I can only speak for myself). I do not many times trust that her mother has her best interests at heart. I usually believe that she is too wrapped up in her own world, problems and life to really pay attention to what her daughter really needs. I also feel that she purposely does things to spite us (like tell her to lie to us). But I need to work on realizing that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their issues and crosses to bear. This is one of mine. I also need to work on not worrying so much about what happens over there (this was not discussed, but I just know I need to work on this) because I will never be able to change that.

 

He also explained to her mother that she needs to set specific limits and boundaries and stick with them. And that she needs to simply not allow her daughter to manipulate and control everything - which is what is happening now. He also explained that the 'Disneyland Parent' is usually the one who gets little respect in the end.

 

Her mother mentioned some things that her daughter has done and said just in the past weeks. My jaw dropped when I heard some of them. She really treats her mother terribly and is allowed to do so. Her mom said that she gets very upset and frustrated because she knows she doesn't act like that here. So I believe that is where much of her hostility toward us is forming.

 

The counselor also looked at me and said that we will never be able to get over everything that has happened in the past and as hard as it will be to try to set it aside when dealing with issues that pertain to my step daughter. He was speaking to all of us, but it was clear that he was acknowledging my pain from everything that has happened. By the way, none of which has ever been discussed in these two appointments. But I did say that I am letting go much better than I has anticipated. I still have a ways to go...but I have been able to forgive in bits and pieces. And I have been able to try to put this behind me. There are times when that is terribly difficult...but I am getting there.

 

Anyway, we have another appointment in about 8 weeks. Maybe I will not be so anxious next time. We need to get things straight. We will have to be co-parenting for 11 more years. Thats a LOOOONNNGGG time. So we need to find a way to do it without so much anger, animosity and spite.

First I would like to discuss cowardly meanness. I have a couple examples I would like to share with you.

 

I want to first explain that I can track a person's IP address from this site. I do not typically do this, but do only when I am getting trouble from a person or have reason to suspect I will be getting trouble from a person. In those instances, I log when they are on the site, how often, what comments are left, etc.

 

Example #1

 

There is a woman who initially found my site by both of us posting on The Journal Times blog. She had many different names on there at first as she apparently did not realize that you could see a person's IP address when they post. Many people caught her and called her out on it before I even knew about it. Apparently she would post under different names making up all sorts of different stories. In one story she was a young pregnant woman with no kids. In another she was married and getting divorced. In another, her teenager was in an abusive relationship. And my personal favorite - she and her family frequently travel to Africa to help the poor. LOL. All sorts of tales with no continuity whatsoever. She would often egg people on, call names and start arguments on the boards. One day she decided to direct her cross hairs in my direction. And ever since she has been visiting my site ALL of the time. She often leaves nasty comments about my not being able to find a job because of my record or about what an awful parent I am. Of course, she never leaves her real name. Sometimes her posts are listed as Banana (how appropriate) and other times no name at all. For the past month or so on the Journal Times Blogs she has been going by Jessica. I know she thinks she changed her IP, but apparently she is not smart enough to fully hide in anonymity. Apparently her volunteer work must be on hold because she has been spending much time on my website. Here are the times she has been on just in the last few days:

 

May 25th

6:17am

6:18am

 

May 24th

1:33pm

2:05pm

2:24pm

8:11pm

8:45pm

8:47pm

8:56pm

 

May 22nd

7:45am

7:57am

 

And this is just when my tracker is working - half the time (actually more than half the time) it isn't logging for whatever reason. This schedule is pretty consistent and just about everyday.

 

I have to wonder what about me makes me such and enjoyable target for her. Jealousy? Perhaps she is terribly ugly and locked in a cellar with nothing else to do? Maybe she once had a stepmother who was mean to her so now she feels it necessary to attack all step parents around the globe? The spelling and grammar on her posts show evidence that her education is lacking, so I suppose she could be learning disabled and hates anyone smarter than her. I guess the possibilities are endless. I just truly wonder what makes people like this tick.

 

Don't get me wrong. I love for people to visit my site. That is why it is here. Even for the a-holes. It just makes me wonder....

 

 

Example #2

 

When I was charged with child abuse, the Journal Times got a hold of the police report (which was packed with lies and very one sided) and printed the story (without any names) on their website as a blog. The comments people left spun me into a DEEP depression. I won't even get into the things people said, but I can tell you that I was expecting torches and a lynching (again - based on complete untruths). One of the people that left a comment said that they knew me and that they felt badly for my natural daughter and hoped that I would be exposed. This same person comes to my site almost daily - a year after that blog being published. This bothers me much more than the crazy lady above because this is someone who KNOWS me and has likely been very two-faced. You can get quite a bit of information with an IP when you know the right people.

 

This leads me to wanting to talk about deception, dishonesty and the state of being disingenuous. As I have spoken about in the past, my intuition is quite strong. No, this does not make me think I am psychic. But, I do usually know when I can and cannot trust a person. Some may think I am cold for no reason when really it is because I know more than they think I know. I have actually (and this obviously has nothing to do with intuition) heard relatives talking about me when they did not know I was near. I have seen the looks and felt the snubs. Yet I still have to pretend and play the game. I hate that. Don't get me wrong, most of the people in my life have been nothing but wonderful. But the few others...I have this strong desire to just let them know once and for all - I KNOW.

 

I cannot say that these things I talk about do not hurt me. Which I am sure gives some of you great pleasure. But that pleasure, I know, is just a quick fix - like a hit of heroine that quickly leaves you down and wanting more. I know that deep down some of you who cause hurt to others are hurting yourselves. I know that someone in your life has desperately damaged you or that perhaps you were born with troubling issues. For this, I am sorry. I offer to you a hug and my sympathy. I offer to you my greatest wishes for a happier, more fulfilling life. Truly, I do.

 

I want the rest of you - the great majority of you - to know that you have nothing to fear with visiting here. I am not tracking you. If you have not left mean comments about me on either here or TJT blogs - I have no idea when you are here or who you are. And I believe I will stop tracking altogether as it really doesn't matter anymore.

 

Also, I want your honesty. I want to know what you are truly thinking even if it does conflict with my beliefs or opinions. That in no way bothers me - I actually like it. Just do not attack me or my family. And even if you do, it really doesn't matter. But to those I really care about - I know that wouldn't be an issue. Feel free to visit and comment here - do so with your name or with anonymity (although I do have special appreciation for those who leave their REAL names).

 

There. Now. Let's move on....

I wanted to submit 2 poems to The Journal Times for their Father's Day Memorial segment - one for my dad and one for Charlie's grandpa. I wrote the poems and called for a quote. They said that it would cost $45 without a photo and $60 with a photo. That is NUTS!! I don't see how I can afford that right now. But I will think about it.

 

In the meantime, I will post them here...

 

To Charles H. Geyer

 

Always in suspenders and with a playful grin

With all the memories of where you’ve been

 

Your days at the buffet chatting with all

Your phone ringing again with yet another call

 

With a strong constitution but an oh so tender heart

It was a sad, sad day when you finally had to part

 

Now with grandma your tears have dried

We love you both, angels at our side

 

We will remember your stubborn resolve and comedic ways

And miss you we will, until the last of our days

 

Love,

Your Family

Is it Friday night yet? No? Well screw you. J

I am soooooooooooooooo tired. I have not been this tired since the days when Cass was a newborn and breastfeeding every half hour. And again, this exhaustion is little darling’s fault. She decided to get sick on our little water park vacation. Great timing this kid has, let me tell ya.

So…here’s the dealio.  

We were leaving to go to The Blue Harbor Resort in Sheboygan on Sunday morning. They have an indoor water park and we took both kids. Anyway, Saturday night, Cassidy kept waking up. At least every two hours or so. She hasn’t really done this in a long time so I was kinda worried. She also felt a bit warm, but it was very hot in her room. I gave her some Motrin just in case. She wasn’t complaining of anything. When I would go in there she would just say “Time to eat” or “Watch movie now”. I’d tell her to go nite nite so we can go to the water park tomorrow. We have been talking to her about it for weeks.

In the morning, we were all quite tired, but she seemed just fine. She did fall asleep on the living room floor as we were packing, but we figured she was tired from being up all night. I mean, hell, I would have laid next to her and taken a nap if I could! So, we leave for the overnight trip and she slept the whole way up there. Never thought anything of it.

We get there and as I was putting on her swim suit I realized she was really quite warm. I began to panic. For those who know me, it won’t come as a shocker that I am always prepared. Especially for medical emergencies. But this time – no. I had not thermometer. No children’s medicine. Nothing. I went down to the gift shop and bought some Children’s Motrin. She took some and seemed to feel better shortly. We decided she was okay enough to go to the water park – it is all indoors and a balmy 84 degrees.

She (as we all) had fun for several hours. I think we were there about 3 hours and she started shivering. But she still wanted to play even though she wasn’t quite being herself. The shivering freaked me out because it was quite warm. So I brought her back to the room and Charlie and Kenzie stayed for a while longer.

When we got back to the room we got all dried off and changed. She seemed fine, but tired. She played around, watched some cartoons and finally fell asleep on the couch. After a good nap she woke up and we tried to go to one of the restaurants for dinner. But she was warm again and totally out of it. I asked to take the food up to the room and we just ate up there while Cassidy slept more.  She finally woke up and demanded “I Hungy!!” So I warmed up her food and she plowed it in. Seemed to feel much better. And just in time for story time. Every night they have a story time in the lobby where they serve milk and cookies and all the kids listen to a story. So they put on their PJs and headed down with Charlie while I got cozy and watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives. What a horrible (sad) ending by the way. I usually don’t get too into that show, but man…

Anyway, shortly after their return we got into bed. Of course Cass would not sleep in her bunk so she ended up sleeping with us. At some point I got kicked out and went to sleep on the couch.

The next day I continued to supply her with Motrin and Tylenol (alternated as Drs have always suggested). She began to really complain about her mouth hurting, but would point way down in her throat. I was certain it was strep and not happy. She has had strep several times now and it sucks. It feels so draining and helpless to not be able to really explain or console her – to make her pain completely go away. I feel so heartbroken when she is in pain and doesn’t even know why.

Even though she was complaining for a bit that her mouth hurt, she ate breakfast and seemed completely fine again. No complaining for hours. So we went back to the water park for 2 hours – Cassidy had a blast on the slides and playing water basketball. Kenzie loved the Lazy River and that big boat thing that dumps 1000 gallons of water every 5 mins or so. They both had a lot of fun.

But we were all tired and decided to get dressed and head out.

We took a long way home and finally stopped for a late lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. It was neat and yummy, but very over priced in my opinion.

We got home and basically went to bed.

About 10pm Cassidy started waking up screaming. She would cry and scream and say her mouth hurt ‘really bad’. Besides the pain reliever I didn’t know what to do. Water? No. Wet cloth to chew on? No. Nothing soothed her. Then she would fall back to sleep for another hour. And then again wake up screaming. This went on all night over and over. When shed go back to bed I would walk away and just bawl. Seeing her in pain was horrible. I really felt like I was going to breakdown – seriously loose it. At one point she was REALLY bad. Having a huge fit and screaming her lungs out. I insisted we go to the ER and Charlie said to wait and see. I called the on call doctor who said that we could go to the ER or wait a few hours until the clinic opened at 8am. It was about 4am at the time. We got her to watch some of a movie and she seemed to get better. I think that the pain was exasperated by the serious fatigue she must have had. Three nights of basically no real sleep. She then went back to sleep and we took her to the Dr. at 8:30am.

They did a strep test that came back negative. But she did have ulcerations on the back of her throat. Dr. said it is a viral throat infection. They don’t know why kids get it and there isn’t much you can do for it. They gave her a prescription of lidocaine (a liquid that numbs the area) that we are supposed to apply to the back of her throat 3 times a day with a long q tip. This chore is practically impossible, but we do our best. They also said to continue with the pain relievers. Today is Thursday and it seems as though it is almost gone. She is back to herself and not really complaining anymore.

Because she has had this twice now and strep several times, the doctor recommended she see an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) physician. Said she may need to have her tonsils removed. My heart dropped. The thought of her having surgery at such a young age – it is unthinkable to me. I really can’t even think about that right now. Mackenzie had her’s out when she was about 5. She couldn’t eat without crying for 2 weeks!! I don’t know if she played it out or what because everyone else tells me that their kids were fine after a few hours!! But if Cassidy was like that at this young age, it would be awful for her. And Kenzie REALLY needed it. She snored terribly and couldn’t breath that well. Cassidy doesn’t have those issues.

So, anyway…that was our mini vacation and the reason for my extreme exhaustion. Exciting story eh?? LOL. Not really, but journals are just that…journals. Not everything in life is deep and interesting J

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Tonight I am so NOT looking forward to. It is the second ‘meeting of the parents’. Charlie, his ex and I are meeting with a counselor for the 2^nd time. The first time was completely a waste. Everything she said she would do or change has even gotten worse. I see no point in these appointments anymore. I was the one that wanted to have them in the first place, but I am starting to see Charlie’s point – it is a waste of time. Anyway, the anticipation of these meetings makes me quite anxious and crabby. I just want it to be over with. And I just really REALLY want a happy normal life. Ya know??

 ***********************************************************************************************************************************

Another exciting chapter…our blender broke and I need to buy a new one. I have never purchased a blender before and not sure where to buy a good but affordable one. I guess I will go to Target or Penneys today or tomorrow and check them out. Charlie and the kids need their smoothies J

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I was watching The View yesterday and H-O-L-Y  C-R-A-P!!! Here is the video:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iEXvOMJL6g

 

Everyday I DVR The View. I put my darling down for a nap, make my daily turkey sandwich (or salad) and sit down to watch one hour (actually probably 30 mins with skipped commercials) of TV - The View. That is the only thing I watch during daylight hours.

I have my certain feelings about each host, but I won't get into that.

I can say that the empathic in me must be very sensitive yesterday because I was in tears. Jaw dropped and teary eyed, I watched Rosie and Elizabeth go at it. I could sense that they were both hurt and had racing hearts. I really feel bad for both of them. Our country is torn apart. We have the side that is very much against this administration, the side that will stand with them through thick and thin and the portion that are apathetic to it all. It breaks my heart. We have enough discontent and hate in this country. Now we are separated by yet another difference. The situation between Rosie and Elizabeth was a small demonstration of what is happening on a very large scale throughout America. It almost feels as though we are in the midst of an emotional civil war.

Very sad.

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Okay…I suppose I have blathered on enough. It is a BEAUTIFUL day today and bugger and I should get in the yard for some play and maybe weed pulling.

Talk at ya soon – Have a splendid day J

Here is the link for the online article -

 

 

 

This is the question posed by a Journal Times reader:

 

 

 

When I first read this question I wanted to simply answer with my own opinions and beliefs as I have often thought about this topic myself. I have some healthcare field experience as does my mother (she has a lot) and it certainly did seem very true that when there was a full moon – the ERs were flooded.  So, this theory has interested me for some time.

 

In my layman’s opinion, before doing any research, I would answer this way: The moon and its changes affect the tides of the ocean – thus affecting all the water here on earth. Because our bodies are made up of mostly water, it only goes to suspect that a full moon would also affect humans too. Does that do it for ya? Nah, didn’t think it would.

 

Okay. So….The words lunatic and lunacy initially referred to the mad-like behavior thought to be brought on by the moon’s phases. However, upon doing my research it appears that murderers, moms-to be and surgery patients are not as affected by the moon as I once had thought. At least that is what they want us to believe (in my best Fox Mulder voice). It seems that for every study proving that the full moon does cause these events to happen more significantly during those times, there are two studies disproving it. There have been experiments that initially proved that murders increased during full moons, that post-operative patients had bleeding problems during full moons and that more women gave birth during full moons. For all of these analyses, there have been many showing the opposite results – racking the previous numbers up to basic coincidences.

 

It has been suggested that a person’s behavior may change around the time of a full moon due to lack of sleep caused by all that extra moon light. It is also inferred that others may simply notice things more because it is brighter out. I don’t know. I think I like my answer better. Which is true? Perhaps only the werewolves know.

Here is the link to the online article:

 

 

 

Question sent in by Journal Times reader:

 

"My family sometimes go to a fast food restaurant (I won't say what one). But we notice some of the workers do not wear plastic gloves when they make the sandwiches and they just pick up the lettuce and meat with their bare hands. Are they allowed to? I think its very unsanitary."

 

 

My answer:

 

Is that a fingerprint on my cheese? Okay, so that isn’t a question you would probably EVER hear in your lifetime. But the question posed by one of our readers did make me wonder with a little ewww factor on the side.

 

I spoke with a member of the management team for all the Racine McDonald’s locations (except the one on Washington Ave) that had some information to share.

 

As it turns out, the health department does not require restaurant employees to wear gloves at the sandwich dressing table. They do require gloves to be worn by any employee who is working with uncooked meat. But once cooked, that is not law. However, it is the owner’s policy that they DO wear gloves at the dressing tables. He said that it is possible that if an employee steps in to help for a moment, they may not be wearing gloves and this may have been the occurrences the reader witnessed. So while it is not mandated by the health department that the lettuce handler wear their gloves, the manager I spoke with said they definitely should be.

 

He also wanted to let me know that they are now only 12 days out from opening the Lathrop Avenue store which will be the first of its kind in Wisconsin. The style will be unique and adorning contemporary signage. The play land will also be modernized while promoting an active lifestyle with their games and activities. This is the same site where the very first McDonald’s opened its doors in 1957. So, be sure to pop in and hey…save me some fries!!

This is a CD review I wrote for Valley Scene Magazine (based in California). This is my first magazine publication. And here is the link to the online article:

 

 

 

Close to 15 years ago, I received a CD for Christmas called Fruit of Life by The Wild Colonials.  Throughout these past years it has been a staple in my short list of go-to tunes.  I would play it over and over – not a usual occurrence for my easily bored ears.  Fast forward to Spring of 2007, a new female vocalist has bumped onto that go-to list and has been playing non-stop in my car since receiving it. That album is The Story by Brandi Carlile.

 

Brandi Carlile must find it difficult to describe her music with a particular shade of genre. Is it possible she has created her own like few before her? Her powerful pipes and pain ridden lyrics gives us all a relatable voice shouting out all that which we wish we could. Authentically poetic words are spun like gold through her powerful lungs and possibly wounded heart. Each of the fifteen tracks is musically original, thus making the boring impossible. One minute the car next to you (because you will have it loud enough for them to hear) may think you are listening to modern country and the next minute, pure women’s folk. And don’t leave out the rock and alternative moments that have your head bobbing as though a spring in your neck has snapped.

 

This CD has made it into my small collection that stays in my player indefinitely and needs to become part of your musical library. Brandi, along with her brothers, Tim and Phil Hanseroth and other musicians who collaborated with her on this CD (Josh Neumann, Matt Chamberlain, David Palmer, Keefus Ciancia and special guests Amy Ray and Emily Sanders – of Indigo Girls fame) have all created this musical blast which I am fanatically thrilled to have come across.  

UGH. I HAVE to get this off my chest. I am soooo mad.

A couple years ago I went to breakfast with my ex sister in law and brother.  Jodi must have been irritated with me for something because even though she KNEW that I had not seen the past few Sopranos' episodes and did NOT want to know anything that had happened on them, she blurted out "Adrianna got wacked!"

I could have killed her.

SO, that was a disappointment to say the least, not to mention - I loved that character.

Skip ahead to today...I do not have HBO, but my mother in law has been DVRing all the Sopranos for me. I haven't seen but the first episode so far. I turn on The View this morning and sure enough...they blurt out the latest shocking death (wont say who). UUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. It is huge. And I feel so let down. Why bother even watching now. I have to go pout now.

Did I mention I am so mad?

What a beautiful day. 80s, sunny and breezy. I wish it would stay this way. Suppose to be right back into the 50s and 60s the rest of the week. LAME!! So I will relish it now!! Cass and I went to the park this morning and I will be cooking dinner on the grill this evening. Ahhh....those summer moments. I honestly cannot imagine why on earth I do not live where it is like this more time out of the year. There is absolutly NOTHING about winter that appeals to me. I boycott it completely. Screw winter!

 

Anywho...

 

Tonight will be a sad night, however. A favorite show of mine, King of Queens. Ending in its 10th season, the show will be greatly missed. Hopefully, it will live forever in reruns...and there is always the DVDs...but it just isn't the same. I will be shedding some tears, that is certain. I really hate to see my favorite shows disappear. Cheers, Seinfeld, Arrested Development...always sad. I cried pretty hard with Cheers. Depending on the story line, this might be right up there. Of course NOTHING will ever compare to the finale of Six Feet Under. But that is a whole other ball o wax.

 

Good bye Heffernans...you will be missed!!

 

 

 

I had to add the following picture because it cracks me up. Everytime I see that episode I wish I had a poster of this:

 

Today Cassidy and I went out to my parents' house (they live about 45 mins - out in the county). We spent most of the day in the yard, just relaxing and chasing after the wild one. It was a nice day for it and a nice visit. I am glad we went out. She sure tired herself out though!! About 2 minutes into the car ride and she was zonked. And she still is -- now on the couch. I can't believe she is still sleeping!! Her dad will be home soon though and we may go to an early dinner. She ate some turkey - A LOT actually and Triscuits at my moms...but all I had was a donut for breakfast...so, I need a good meal :)

 

Yesterday I learned that I won a blog contest for the Journal Times. I wrote a separate blog about it in case you are interested. But anyway, not to my surprise I had a heckler that said some mean things. She even got reported and one of her posts were deleted. I guess (I didn't see it myself, but I was told this by others on the site at the time) that she said something to the effect of 'leave it to the Journal Times to award someone who abused their step child'.  Needless to say - ouch. And for anyone who has not read my blogs about this or who know me personally - I did NOT abuse her nor would I ever abuse or mistreat ANYone especially a child. Being a parent is the single most important thing to me.

 

This particular person, who I think is female, and another woman have both decided to use me as anonymous target practice on the JT Blogs. One of them even leaves nasty comments on here once in a while. They have both visited this site numerous times - one of them is on here several times a week at least. I know because I tracked her IP address from the JT site. I usually only do that when someone is giving me problems. Anyway, they use the information I have shared on this site - mainly about the issues concerning the situation with my step daughter or my anxiety problems - and use it to sting me on the JT site. They both say horribly mean things of which they know nothing about. I am not quite sure why they choose to vent their anger onto me. Perhaps it is my politics or my feelings on religion (I think they are both pretty religious - whatever that means - when a person claims to be religious and then spews hatred, evil and venom...well...whatever) who knows.

 

I have a friend who also used to frequent the JT site who tells me all the time to ignore these people, see them for what they obviously are and just give it no thought. I know he is right. Of course he is. So why can I not do that? I never EVER go out of my way to be mean or hurtful to anyone for no reason. So I guess I have a hard time understanding how others can be that way. But why does it bother me the way it does? These people could be literal trolls living in a trash heap shooting rocks at cars as they drive by just for the fun of it. So why on earth would I care?? I need to get back to that mantra I have on my email "It is none of my business what other people think of me." I need to cram that into my head so it sticks permanently.

 

I know what kind of person I am. I know that even with my faults, neurosis-es, annoyances...I am still a very loving, overly caring person who truly wants what is best for all. I really truly do. Even the people who have hurt me. Because if they find that happiness, they will likely stop hurting others - including me so it isn't entirely selfless!! Like my husband's ex. There were times in the past she would do or say something REALLY nasty to me. But then she'd apologize and I would forget about it and be friendly again. Even AFTER 'the incident' - I was willing to accept that everyone involved made mistakes - life altering mistakes - including myself. So I still had saddness for the loss of that strange, unconventional friendship we had. And to this day I HONEST TO GOD want her to find out what is missing in her life and be a happy, healthy, responsible person. For everyone's sake - even hers.

 

Point is...I know I am a good person. I know I have a good heart. I know I am a very good parent - to BOTH kids. Why can't that be enough to make me not care what others say and think? When can I stop defending myself - or at the very least not feel that I need to??

The Racine Journal Times had a blog contest for their Mommy Talk forum. One of their regular 'Mommy' Writers is out on maternity leave, so they asked readers to submit blogs. There was a first, second and thrid place winner. Today I learned that I am the first place winner. I know this sounds silly, but I am excited about it. I won a $75 gift certificate to a spa!! Plus, I am mainly pleased that someone enjoyed my writing. I entered 8 blogs. I will copy the winning blig below. They said they may publish more on their site in the coming months, so that I look forward to as well. Of all my entries, this is not one I would have expected to come close to winning...but I am glad it did :)

 

Thank you Journal Times :)

 

Here is the link to the article and blog where people can leave comments:

 

 

Here is the blog:

 

There is one topic that is rarely mentioned on blogs such as this and that is the topic of ‘step parenting’.  Many of us are step parents, have had step parents or may become one in the future. There are also so many facets, issues, troubles and sweet moments that come with being a step mom or step dad. So, I feel it deserves a mention on Mommy Talk.

 

Growing up, I had both a step father and a step mother. I never really gave it a second thought as to how difficult it may have been for them (especially my step father who, with my mother, basically raised me).  But many years later when I stepped into that role myself, I understood all too well what being a step parent meant.

 

I was about 27 when I met my now husband. He had a 14 month old daughter from a previous relationship. On our second ‘date’ I met this chunky legged, grinning little girl. She was still waddling around in diapers as she showed me all of her toys one by one.  I was very leery about getting involved because I wasn’t sure an instant family was what I really needed at the time. But on our third ‘date’ we were grocery shopping and I was changing diapers. It moved quickly and I was in that step mom role directly.

 

One night, something occurred that made me realize how much this child meant to me.  As we were sleeping late in the night, I flew out of bed to the sound of a very loud, urgent cry. It was a strange cry and I knew instantly something wasn’t right. She was approximately 2 at the time. Just as I opened her door, she projectile vomited across her room. She ran to me crying and screaming. We went to the bathroom and I ran a bath as I undressed her. She kept screaming, “My teeth hurt!” I had no idea what this meant. Her father had been complaining of tooth pain the previous week so I feared it was some strange communicable thing. I got out the children’s pain reliever and she grabbed for it like it was a sandwich to a starving person. The unstoppable crying was very dramatic and she vomited several more times. I washed her and dressed her and woke her father up announcing that we were ‘going to the ER – NOW!!’

 

I held her the whole way there (as it was only blocks away). And in the waiting room she grasped me so tightly and refused to be held by anyone else.  It seemed to be taking forever and she continued to throw up in a bag provided by the intake nurse. I demanded someone see her immediately. What was taking so long? This was my first experience with a sick child, especially a child I loved as my own. As it turned out, it was only a case of the stomach flu (no west nile or bird flu which I had been irrationally fearing). We had to give her suppositories to keep her from throwing up, as the oral meds were coming up just as fast as they went down. Of course my husband nominated me for the job and I accepted without hesitation as I just wanted her to feel better immediately. 

 

I am sure that while we waited and as I asked a thousand questions, I must have appeared to the staff to be an annoying, paranoid parent. And I guess for the first time, at that moment, I realized that is exactly what I was.

 

My step daughter is now 7. I cannot say that this road has not been filled with many obstacles and heart aching events, but I will always be a proud step parent and look forward to the years ahead as I watch her become a healthy, productive, sweet young lady. Not only do I want that for her, for our family and even for our society…but I must admit that I will also take great pride in knowing I had something to do with that.

Link to online article:

 

 

Question asked to The Journal Times Glad You Asked column:

 

"There used to be a Southern Foods store on Highway 32 going to Kenosha. Where did that move to?"

My answer:

A reader posed the question regarding a southern foods store on Sheridan Road in Kenosha and whether or not it was still in existence. Not familiar with the business myself, I wondered how I might find out about this place with so little to work with.

I decided to call some surrounding businesses in the area. A man from Wally’s Sales and a woman from Bluebird Motel spurred some further investigation on my part. They both told me that they believed the area where the Southern Country Store and the next door motel, Shore Acres, will be demolished to make room for the building of condos.

I spoke with a man who was associated with the Shore Acres Motel and it appears to me that there is a bigger story here than just a simple Glad You Asked answer. He feels that the town of Somers is against small businesses and doing what they can to run them out. He also said that it was not known for sure if condos were in the plan or not. He said that the motel is still running, but Southern Country Store was not. The man who ran the store packed up and moved to Alabama, according to this source.

I also spoke with an employee at the Kenosha Chamber of Commerce who said that the business in question was not a member, therefore she had no information.  A member of the Kenosha County Planning and Development Committee said he checked around and has heard of no plans for the building of condos in that area. He also had no comment on the accusations by the Motel associate as he said his department would not be the one to oversee such matters.

So, a sure answer, I cannot give at this time. But it would be my best guess that yes, Southern Country Store on Sheridan Road is now closed. Where to find southern food in the area? Beats the pigs feet out of me!!

As many of you may know, I went to Chicago with my mom on Friday to attend a John Edward Seminar. It was very fascinating, even more so than I had anticipated. But no, I did not get a reading. My unforeseen disappointment regarding that I will talk about later. But he was in top form and we were both quite blown away. It was an interesting weekend that went by far too quickly.

 

 

Taking the Train to Chicago…

 

Friday morning we headed to the train station in Sturtevant. I had never taken a train before – well, unless you count the one at the Milwaukee Zoo. I had been to the old Hiawatha Station to pick up relatives in the past and I can sure say that HOLY CRAP is this station a million times nicer. I was literally afraid to use the bathroom in the old building. As nice as the new Sturtevant station is, when I got a glimpse of Union Station in Chicago, I about pooped my pants! Yes, I know. The class just flows from my fingertips. Anyway, man. This place was the size of a city!! Restaurants, bars, gift shops, winding roads and even public toilets with those automatic plastic toilet seat covers adorn this surprisingly monstrous outfit.

 

I have been to Chicago three times in the past. All three of those times I was...well, not completely sober. Two of those three times I was only in the Solider Field vicinity for Grateful Dead shows. So, none of those times was I really able to appreciate the vastness of this giant city. These huge buildings surrounded every available inch of space like hovering guards. From our 19th floor hotel room all of the people walking about looked like scurrying rats in some kind of concrete maze. I have never seen so many people walking around outside – ever. Where were they all going? How do they speed walk and text message at the same time? And why all the traffic if everyone seems to foot it?

 

 

Getting to the Seminar…

 

Our hotel was pretty modest. The cheapest I could find in the immediate area. When we arrived at the Hyatt Regency, where the seminar was being held, we got lost IN the hotel! I told my mom at the time that it reminded me of a modern day Emerald City. This was like no hotel I had ever seen. Spas, barber shops, restaurants, bars, gift shops, clothing stores, dry cleaners, banks, offices, meeting rooms, flower shops…it was truly unreal.

 

We finally found the correct ballroom and were able to quickly recognize it by the mile long line standing at the door!! The seminar sat about 200 people – which are actually a small group for JE’s seminars. Typically they can be well over 1000. We made it there in time to be pretty much in the middle of the line once the doors finally opened. We stood for about 30 minutes. We chatted a bit with a mother and daughter from Michigan who were standing behind us. But aside from that we pretty much kept to ourselves. I was quite nervous, though I am still unsure why.

 

We walked around the room trying to strategize as to where the best place was to be sitting as it was general admission. It was actually funny, because most everyone was doing the same thing…picking a seat, then changing their minds and moving. Discussing why which side is best or whether it was better to sit in the front or back. I wanted to be somewhat in the middle section, but wanted to sit in the aisle in case I had to use the bathroom – I am telling you, I was really anxious!! So we picked out special seats. My mom was flipping out in worry that someone with a humungous head would sit in front of her or someone loud and obnoxious would sit behind her. Behind us was fine. But sorry to say, a humongous head did in fact sit in front of us. Sorry mom.  

 

 

The Readings…

 

Before the readings even began I got a little emotional. As the announcer said, “And here, John Edwards” he jogged up to the stage. Seeing him in person just shocked me for a moment. Like I didn’t realize I was really going to be there. I have watched him on TV and read his books for so long. It was always such a dream of mine…to actually be in his presence and see him just feet away – it struck me for a moment and the tears flowed. I was able to quickly regain my composure and kept it for most of the night. Though a few tears were shed off and on throughout the event.

 

I want to say that there was no one single miss in the 2 hours of readings that night. I was so relieved to find that John Edward is really as legitimate as I always thought he was. Obviously I cannot relive each moment and even if I were to verbalize it, the affect would be nothing compared to being there in person. But I will give a couple of examples…

 

John pointed to a group – maybe about 10 people in a selected area. He said something to the fact, “I am getting a very strange name. Aloisius? Anyone have an Aloisius in this area?” A woman raised her hand and kind of chuckled. She said – in more of a question tone, “That was the name of my cat.” He asked her if he had passed and she said yes. After that he was able to bring through the woman’s mother – was able to provide her name, hobbies, and particular events that took place when she was alive. All thanks to Aloisius the cat.

 

As he was speaking to one family – again getting VERY specific hits every time – he said that he thought he was jumping families. He asked the woman where she was from. She said, “Naperville.” He pointed to an area clear on the other side of the room and asked if anyone in that row had ties to Naperville. One family said yes. But he said that wasn’t enough for him. He then asked the woman her first name. She said, “Yolanda.” Then that same family on the other side of the room said that one woman with them was Yolanda. He then was able to read that family and gave very specific details about the death of the man’s son. He asked if the boy had brain cancer or a tumor in his head. The father shared that he had tumors in his sinus in his skull. Of course, he went on to give much more information.

 

Then we pointed to a few woman a few rows back. He asked who had a child pass. A woman and her mother raised their hands. John asked, “He drowned?” They both gasped and said yes. He read for them for a while. He then asked what I thought was going to be the first miss of the night. “Who is Jack or Jake?” They could not answer. A few minutes later, he asked the grandmother, “Why is your grandson throwing potatoes at me?” The grandmother answered as she laughed, “My dog, just yesterday, dug up all the potatoes I just planted! I was so angry!!” John said, “Your grandson thinks that is very funny.” The mother and her daughter looked at each other and both said, “Yea, he would.” Then the grandmother gasped and shockingly said, “Oh my God, my dog’s name is Jake.”

 

These are just a teeny glimpse of so much we witnessed that night. I couldn’t begin to describe it all to you. There really are no words. I can certainly see why some people actually become addicted to attending these events. They are every powerful, reassuring and spiritual.

 

 

For the skeptics…

 

I have heard many theories on how John ‘scams’ his audiences. And I was there with a bit of skepticism in me as well. I keep an open mind and even more, an open eye. I looked around constantly. I watched everything. I want to make sure just as anyone who doesn’t believe that this is REAL.

 

I can tell you that there is NO way that room was mic’d. It wasn’t an auditorium with structured seating. These were regular, non adhered chairs lined up in rows. The ceiling was about 50 feet high. There would have been no realistic way.

 

In the line waiting for the doors to open, there was definitely no way to microphone any part of that gargantuan lobby. It was all vastly open and spread out. Absolutely huge with no place to even put a listening device.

 

I also watched the line very closely – constantly looking around. There was no one that came out and talked to anyone. Not once.

 

The details John gave that night were in no way lucky guesses. That was not a matter of reading body language. How can your body tell him that your dead sister’s name was Geneva and that she died of lung cancer and she was from Georgia? He gave absolute specifics. Not sounds like this or sounds like that. Specifics.

 

My mother, though interested in him and the subject matter, was still pretty skeptical going in. Throughout the readings she kept looking at me with a ‘holy shit’ look on her face. She was amazed. When we left she said how worth it it all was, because she is defiantly a believer now.

 

 

 

My surprising disappointment…

 

 

We bought these tickets nearly a year ago. I had been looking forward to this day for a LONG time. I was almost in denial that it would ever even arrive. That entire time I was certain that I did not expect a reading and would certainly not be disappointed if I didn’t get one. I was sure of it. I simply wanted to go to witness the whole thing, feel the energy in the room and debunk any suspicions I had about the whole process. Also, I thought it would help with my fear of death.

 

As I watched the readings I felt good. I was relaxed and the more accurate he was, the more energy I could feel. But then there were a couple moments when I was certain he was coming to me. Things he said that hit the nail on the head…but they ended up being for someone else. Each of the 3 or 4 times that happened, my gut ached a little more and that evil disappointment began to set in. I then started to try to send him my thoughts telepathically – lol. I kept thinking really hard “come to me – come to me.” But it didn’t work. Then the show was over. It went by so quickly. And I was left with all of these mixed feelings. My mom was upset because apparently I appeared pretty discouraged and unhappy. That really wasn’t the case. I was more in a fog and like I said – full of mixed up emotions. I was thrilled that I had been there; that I had witnessed such amazing things and saw so much joy in people that had been really hurting. I realized that those people needed the readings far more than I did. But I was also a bit sad that I didn’t get my reading. And even more depressed because it was all over. No more John Edward to look forward to. That two hours seemed more like two minutes and I just wanted MORE. What a brat, I know.

 

 

So, the experience was truly meaningful and enlightening. It has changed my life in small ways and I think it will continue to do so as I let some of the lessons he shared sink in. He said something at one point (this was one of the moments I thought for sure he would be coming to me) about letting fear control your life. He explained that the more you fear something, the more of what you fear happens. That the fear is a magnet for the exact thing you want to avoid. Obviously, that was a huge thing for me and a lesson I need to learn completely – and fast!!

 

I want to thank my mom for the wonderful birthday gift. The best gift I could really ever receive. I had a fabulous time and I will never forget it as long as I live – and even beyond J Thanks Ma.