This is long. All together about 1 hour and 45 mins. If you like, you can skip the introduction speaches and the ones at the end. Randy's lecture is about an hour and well worth the time. You can simply play it in the background while you are doing other things if you like. Or watch it in pieces. But I do urge you to watch/listen to it when you have time. Thanks.

So, a couple months ago I got this email from www.Philosophy.com about a contest. Philosophy is my favorite brand of skin care products. They are WONDERFUL. They smell great, feel great and really help my skin. Anyway, they wanted people to write their own short Philosophy story - either how it has helped them, how they started using it - anything like that. So I quickly wrote something up and sent it in. They had said that anyone who enters gets a little gift. I figured maybe some little sample of something - and I am a sucker for free stuff - even sample sized...so...there ya go. Anyway, about a month later I get this full sized lip gloss in the mail (works great btw). I was so happy!! Then yesterday I got an email saying that out of the hundreds - I think she said over 500 - entires, I was in the final 50. The number still needed to be narrowed down to 25. And all 25 of those winners will get a free all expense paid trip to L.A. (have never been there) and a chance to be in one of their infomercials. She wanted to make sure I was available for the filming days - which HELL YEA I am!! And I needed to send in a head shot. I had NO pictures of myself that didn't make me want to vomit. So I had Charlie take some last night. Some of them are below. I still hate all of them - I cannot stand pictures of myself and when I look at them I see every flaw. But I did choose two and sent them this morning. I guess we will get the results next week!! I am excited, but I am not allowing myself to get my hopes up. It would be a such a fun and exciting thing to happen and that is really what the Dr ordered right now. But...we shall see...I will keep you abreast!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are the two I ended up sending in....

 

A friend of mine has been dealing with a very difficult situation and my heart really goes out to her. She recently learned that her 3 year ols Autistic son has been being restrained in a chair during the hours of his special education classes at Red Apple School here in Racine.

 

I am not going to pretend that I know what her and her husband go through on a day to day basis. Nor can I imagine dealing with obstacles such as this one. But I can say that I admire her completely for her strength and fortitude to fight not only for her child - but others who will come after him. She created a local organization - Window to Hope - to help  local families with children that have Autism.  And now it appears she has another fight on her hands.

 

 

I will add some links to the stories which have been published below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

My thoughts are with Hasmig and her family as they deal with yet another bureaucratic hurdle and find a sense of trust and security in an educational environment for Zachary.

 

Hello there. Long time no write. I guess I have been pretty preoccupied lately, so not much writing going on.

 

We had the Step Out to Fight Diabetes Walk this past Saturday and it went really well. I had started a team which ended up consisting of: my husband, our daughters, my sister in law, my husband’s ex wife (yes, I know that seems strange…but what do you expect from strange people lol), my husband’s boss and my niece. I walked in memory of my dad who died from diabetic complications 10 years ago at the age of 46. As a team we raised over $1200 so far (do not have the actual total yet) and individually I raised – including a check I just received last night - $995 bucks!! I am very proud of how much we were able to raise. I am also proud that I was able to walk the 4 miles without any difficulty!! Especially with the way I have been feeling lately – I thought it was a likely possibility I would have wound up passed out in a puddle of puke. But nope! And the day was gorgeous. Upper 70s with a nice breeze. When we returned to the starting point they had Chipotle burritos and snacks. And to top it off – I won a drawing!! They put all the names in a bucket of the people who raised over $500 and I won 3^rd place which was a 1 Hour Relaxation Facial at Great Lakes Spa and two $20 gift certificates for Panera!! I was so excited!!

 

After the walk we went home and rested for a while. Once the kids got up from their naps – they were exhausted – we headed down to Party on the Pavement. For those unfamiliar, this is a big street party held in Racine’s Downtown. They block off a few streets and fill them with vendors, stages, bands, food, face painters, farm animals, etc. It was really quite nice. Lots of people, but not overly crowded. We met my brother, sister in law and niece down there. Once we got hungry we went to eat at the Chancery and that was nice too. All and all – it was a really good day. I can actually say that I hadn’t had a nice day in a while.

 

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As I have written about in the past, my health hasn’t been great. I have been in a tug of war with several health professionals. It basically went down like this….

 

• Went to OB/GYN to discuss symptoms. Requested hormone testing.

 

• He diagnosed me with PMDD and handed me an armful of Lexapro. I wasn’t happy. I wanted all avenues to be looked at before going on yet another medication which would likely have icky side effects.

 

• Of the tests he did agree to (only 3) – RN said they were “normal”. Mind you the thyroid test came back 0.37 and the normal range is 0.35 – 25. Doesn’t that ring any bells??

 

• I decided to get a second opinion. Not much better. Though he did agree to do some more tests. According to him – those were also normal but 2 of them were still VERY borderline low. He said – ahh, just take the Lexapro.

 

• I emailed my Dr. who prescribes my anxiety med and he was pissed that an OB/GYN was treating me in this manner. He gave me a name of the Women’s Pharmacy in Madison to find out more about hormone issues. He did NOT think I should take the Lexapro.

 

• I called said Pharmacy and they were very helpful and gave me lots of info.

 

• I also decided to call a pharmacy here in town which I knew specialized in a more holistic and natural approach – Nutritional Designs. The woman who runs that pharmacy spoke to me for hours over a few days and told me which tests I needed.

 

• I called the Nurse Practioner who has always been really good to me at my GP’s office. She agreed right away to order these tests. According to the RN – those too were “normal”.

 

• I brought the results in for the nutritionist/pharmacist to take a look. She said my Cortisol was way way too low and that according to my results and symptoms I am no doubt suffering from Adrenal Fatigue. My cortisol level at 10am was a 7. She said is should be around 15 at that time of day. She said what physicians and labs consider normal is not what it optimal for a healthy life. She said all they are trained to care about is death prevention and not quality of life. That those ranges are simply to rule out very deadly diseases. So she said, while I may not be dying at the moment – I was headed down a bad road and that I was nutrient deficient.

 

• She spoke with me for a very long time and we agreed on a supplement regiment. I guess only time will tell if anything is helping. I will list my regiment below…

 

Ø      She wants me to gradually get up to about 6000 mgs of Fish Oil daily. Cardiologist said this is way too much and wants me to stick with no more than 3000 mgs which is where I am at right now. I will stay here for a while and see what happens and what nutritionist says.

 

Ø      Coral Complex – this has coral calcium and magnesium – 1 in the a.m. and 2 in the p.m. (haven’t started yet as I want to use up the rest of my Cal/Mag pills first).

 

Ø      Tropical Anti-oxidant Liquid Formula. This has extracts of tropical fruits – Mangosteen, Noni, Wolfberry and others. 1 oz a day.

 

Ø      Liquid Vitamin D3

 

Ø      “Cocktail” which consists of ½ tsp of each of the following probiotic supplements mixed with a bottle of water which I am to sip throughout an 8 hour period:

 

·        Stress B Nano Plex – this is a combination of LIVE B liquid vitamins

 

·        CoQ-Quantum – Live CoQ10 liquid

 

·        DHLA – Liquid Antioxidant

 

 

Sounds like a lot doesn’t it? It is intimidating and daunting. But I really need something to work here. I know there is something very wrong going on with me and it isn’t limited to the 10 days prior to my period.

 

So cross your fingers, pray or do what you do to pass on best wishes for this to work – okay?? Thanks J

 

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This weekend I am going in for my free facial!! I need some me time and time to wind down from a very stressful couple of weeks. I wanted to add on massage, but they charge 45 bucks for a half hour and I think that is A LOT.  I really cannot justify swinging that no matter how awful I have been feeling. I do need more time than just an hour though. I need to find something else to do alone and relaxing – but I have no ideas.

 

Sunday – Charlie and I are probably going to a movie if we can find a sitter for a couple hours. We will see Michael Clayton with George Clooney. I of course will let you know what I thought of it J

 

So, that is it for now. Talk at ya soon!!!

I lost my entire hard drive and it sucks MAJOR. I lost so much important info. Anyway, sorry that I haven't been very good with responding or posting lately...but I will soon as I get my computer back to normal. The same is true for my email. Lost almost all of my contacts even. I am very upset. Anyway...I will talk to you soon!!!

 

Thanks guys!!

 

So, I was finally able to get a Doctor (Nurse Practioner actually) order the tests that the nutritionist/pharmacist (the one who runs Nutritional Designs) said that I needed. I had the tests yesterday and it will be a couple days before I get my results. I had a complete thyroid panel including Free T4 and T3. Also insulin resistance and cortisol levels. Not that I want something to be wrong, but I do hope a cause is found for all the crappy symptoms I have been going through.

 

I was thinking the other day – imagining feeling better. Having more energy, not feeling sick or lightheaded…able to do normal everyday things. What a wonderful thing that would be. Anyway, I was thinking if they did find something and it was fixed and I felt better finally – then perhaps I should consider having another baby.

 

It is such a tough topic. There are many reasons NOT to. But the list of why I should seem to outweigh – not by quantity, but quality.

 

Here are my reasons for NOT having another….

 

• Just getting too old. I am 33 now and it would probably be another year before getting pregnant. So we are talking being 35 at birth time. Ugh.

 

• Right now I cannot imagine having enough energy – but that is because I feel bad now. As it is now, I couldn’t keep up as I am just too tired.

 

• My husband doesn’t really like the idea too much. He would if it was what I really wanted…but he would rather not.

 

• I am trying so hard to lose the last 20 lbs from the last pregnancy…do I want to put my body through that again?

 

• I would be high risk due to the fact that much of my cervix has been removed (sorry for the TMI). I could miscarriage or be bed ridden for much of the pregnancy. That would seriously suck.

 

• I could no longer take one of my medications that really improve my life.

 

• I think it would be very difficult to be pregnant and take care of a 3-4 year old – wonder if I have it in me at this age.

 

• My last labor and delivery was extremely difficult. 26 hours of HARD intense labor. 2 epidurals that did not work. Pushed for 5 hours. Lost A LOT of blood and had to stay in hospital for 5 days. LONG recovery.

 

I so regret waiting so long to start my life and my family. I wasted so many years. So many. I have so much regret about that. I feel things would have been so much better if I had gotten my shit together much sooner and had my first child years before 30. I wish I could get over that regret. When I see these women have babies in their 60s I am amazed. How do they physically do it?? I am dead at the end of the day.

 

Here are my reasons for wanting another…

 

• I just really WANT another baby. I miss having that little baby here.

 

• I want a larger family.

 

• I would love to have a sibling for my daughter who is here all of the time.

 

• When I am old, I want a big family around taking care of me LOL!!

 

• What if my daughter decided to move to London? I need a back-up.

 

• I have more love to give.

 

• I feel this must be my plan. I am obviously not going to be a successful business person. I am not career minded. I feel that parenting is my purpose. I cannot imagine what else it would be.

 

 

As you can see, I think about this a lot. And I wonder if I would ever really be able to make up my mind. I guess I should try to put it out of my head for now until I get my test results and find out if this is even going to be an option for me.

 

Anyone else struggle with these thoughts??